Today I got rid of my unibrow
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 10:03PM I was waiting for this day for exactly 20 years. At 14 I have decided I don't want my brows to be one, I want them to be two - to have two eyebrows and not look like an exotic girl from some hot and spicy land. I do have either Turkish or Persian or some other similar blood in me - which in particular is a family mystery. I remember that decision day - in school one of the boys called me a persian princess, in a mocking way. I felt awful. I came home, looked in the mirror and decided to get rid of all that hair between my brows. I plucked every one of them out until I thought the rest looked satisfying. I was happy, until my father showed up from work. I was so terrified at his potential reaction, that I scratched the spot between my eyebrows till it was bloody and pasted a band-aid on top, to not let him see what I did. He of course dragged me to the kitchen and tore off the band-aid - it hurt. Then he yelled at me, what exactly, I can't remember, and he slapped me. But I learned to be stubborn - that's how I survived him. I kept plucking my eyebrows, whether he liked it or not, and finally he got used to it.
I am now 34, it has been 20 years, and I plucked my hair between my eyebrows, every day, for 20 years. I hated it even more because it made me look like him, like my father. Today, I went to get rid of this hair once and for all - with the help of electrolysis. It was another happy day of my life. I was worth it, and I felt beautiful, I felt like myself, after I had done it. The spot between my eyebrows is clean! I love it.
What incest and abuse victims never learn is to feel worth something. They are typically being used as worthless things and are told the same. In case of girls, the worth is tied to feeling beautiful. We grow up feeling worthless, ugly. We punish ourselves with buying the wrong size clothes, the wrong color accessories, doing the wrong haircuts - the list goes on and on. I remember I had 1 year in my life when I refused myself to have haircuts and have been cutting my hair myself! Luckily, I have a degree in hair styling (among other things) and my hair is curly. But what if I didn't? I cut my bangs so short I looked ugly, I cut my hair in the back so short that I looked like a boy, I put on green shorts and green plaid knee socks, with a matching green-turquoise kerchief on my neck, and I looked like a clown. I did everything in my power to NOT look attractive or womanly or sexy. I either applied a ton of makeup, or I refused to apply any makeup at all. I bought pants that I could barely squeeze in, or I bought huge overalls which were several sizes larger than I needed. I would go into color stages - everything in my wardrobe would be blue, or red, or green, or brown. I would go spend the money on a new look, only to hate it the day after. I shudder now as I remember how much money I spent on trying to find myself. Now my search is over. I'm me, finally. Especially today.
Reader Comments (1)
You were beautiful then and you are beautiful now!!