How can I live, when news from my family are horror stories
Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 8:39AM I talked to my mom yesterday, she called, frantic. Something happened. In the past, I would dismiss her stories, thinking that she is crazy – that’s what my father told me my whole life. After people didn’t believe my story – I caught myself on not believing my mother – she was telling the truth all along, but I dismissed her just like others dismissed me. Her stories were so bizarre, they didn’t sound like reality. Now I know they are.
My cousin. The little baby girl that I remember – growing up in the same household as me, my mom, my little sister, my aunt, my grandma, my great grandma, 4 dogs, a rat, and a hedgehog. She is 25 now. She disappeared from the face of the earth, the same way my mom did, my half-sister (on mom’s side), and my aunt. The same way my grandma did (my great grandma died many years ago). I went to Moscow past November to celebrate the wedding of my other half-sister (on the dad’s side), and to search for my family on my mom’s side. I found my grandmother, locked in the apartment, scared to death to open the door to anyone (I had a neighbor yell through the door that it was me, her grand-daughter), and starved to a walking skeleton. I found my half-sister in the hospital after a cyst-removal operation, I found my mother in a shabby apartment on the outskirts of Moscow, and I stood in front of the door of my cousin for 30 minutes (and for 30 other minutes I tried to come up with the code to the front door of the building – no neighbor would open it to me). I left her a note, that it was me – and I heard an animal scratch at the door, or maybe two. I tried calling my aunt, but she didn’t pick up the phone, she is in deep depression, as mom told me, and doesn’t talk to anyone – I don’t even know where she lives.
My mom called about my cousin. My cousin grew up amidst heavy physical violence – was she sexually abused as well? Potentially. I do remember how her mom – my aunt – beat her – on her head, always on her head, hard, with her fists. She grew up to barely finish high school, and started working as a dance girl in one of the Moscow nightclubs, befriended a guy who has criminal past, who daily abuses her, beats her, and takes the money she makes. She made close to $40K once – she bought him a car. She can’t hold on to the money she makes, and her boyfriend made a plan to grab all of my family’s real estate, starting with my grandfather’s apartment (the one I stood in front of). My grandfather lives now with my grandmother (after 40+ years of being divorced) because my aunt forced him into it, to have his apartment to herself. Then how she left it to my cousin, remains a mystery, but my cousin came with her boyfriend to my grandpa and took all his papers, after making him drink enough vodka to agree to everything. Then my cousin’s boyfriend decided to grab our apartment (where my grandmother and grandfather live now, where I grew up) – so he would come visit, he took the keys from my cousin, and he literally made it so that the old folks will die from hunger, until my mom came to visit and discovered them there, half-alive.
My mom called about my cousin, because my cousin called her for help. She hasn’t talked to her for 5+ years, she called because her boyfriend beat her until she lost consciousness and passed out. He fled, thinking she was dead. She came to herself, he returned to check on her, said he will leave now, but will come back, to kill her and her whole stinking family. He also grabbed our summerhouse property (the only one I cherish with good memories) and built a smallish house – some Uzbek workers live there now – he pays them to guard the property. He is wanted for the murder of a policeman (in Russia, we call them militia men), and he is a drug addict. My mom tried talking my cousin into living with her for a while, leaving that dreadful apartment for good (there is no furniture – he sold everything, my cousin has barely any clothes, and she is trying to feed the animals – a dog, two cats, and a raccoon from the meager money she makes now as a waitress in the night restaurant). My cousin listened to her, and almost agreed, then declined. She said she will wait for him and demands the money he owes her – for the damage to the apartment. I tried calling her – no answer. I will try again today. I will try tomorrow. I am trying to think what I can do – and I realize – nothing. Until I get better, the only thing I can do – is to keep trying.
I cry.
Reader Comments (3)
What a dreadful story. I hope your cousin (and her animals - a dog, two cats and a ENOT (raccoon? I a Moscow apartment?)) get out of this situation. Let me know if I can help. You know where to find me.
Thanks a ton! There is really nothing you or I can do - without physically going there - you know, going for like a month to spend time with her, talk to her (before that - track her down to even be able to talk to her). And money won't help either - it will all be spent. So... I can only cry, and keep working on healing myself - to be able to help when I;m well. Right now news like these kick me out of shape...
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